realizations during a cold shower at 1 in the morning

• Life sometimes gives trials that are difficult to take head on, but it doesn't mean that life in not beautiful. La vie est trés belle.
• I fear holding on rather than letting go.
• Facing what we fear makes us a hell lot stronger.
• Acceptance makes things easier.
• To hell with forgive and forget. People say this all the time, but do they really practice what they preach? Of course you don't forget, especially if a person did something really bad towards you.
• No matter how hard you try to mask yourself, reality would wake you with a hard slap on your face.
• There are a lot of people who would hurt you and you can't go around it.
• Walk with your chin up, what is there to be ashamed of?

feeling drained and depressed

I hate this feeling. I have a lot of things to do but I just can't focus on anything. The week isn't even on its halfway, but the feeling is like it is already Thursday. My body wants to lie down and my brain already wants to shut down. I don't want to show may face to our thesis mentor tomorrow. I just don't want to think of what his comments will be on our paper. I just remembered, I have a lot of things to do tomorrow. Wednesdays are supposed to be my restday. Unfortunately, my professor scheduled a make up class. Thursday is a full day for me. I have 4 classes, each is a 1.5 hour class. I have to study for our graded dialogue in French, make handouts for my reporting and read the assigned materials for the two other classes (boring! plus, its long). I'm currently waiting for my thesis groupmate. I hope we finish early. . .

I'm discerning whether I would attend our make up class.

Trusting people??

Who are you to lecture of being careful on who to trust? You yourself do not know who you can trust. You do not know who are the people that only uses you. People who only stick by you because they need things from you.

If they know. . .

If they found out, I don't know what will happen. . . I might be shouted at. Again. I will be compared to my older sister. Why she is this and that. Even she would lecture me. I'm so tired being measured by what she is and what I'm not. Well, I might just admit to the fact that I'm a failure. . . I pray- wait, I don't do that- I wish I would be able to pull this off.

last exam

Tomorrow is my last exam day. It's for European Economics or EUROECO. I don't know how I should study for this subject. (*sigh*) Wish me luck!

Yesterday, my friend Pajoy came to Taft. . . She was meeting her cousin who studies in CSB to get something for her exam so she can transfer to CSB. From her music course in UST she's going to transfer to CSB and take HRIM. hehe. . .

I meet her in McDonald's with Steph. We talked about what happened to our "lives" and about a common friend, Dawn. We were all wondering what happened to her. Actually, I miss that girl. Then, the talk led to relationships of those two. . . no comment!

We were supposed to meet Pajoy after we took our exam, but unfortunately, she went home before we were able to go to our meeting place. . .